As you may have all noticed, I've been quiet online lately. This isn't lack of interest but just an overwhelming amount of busyness and hustle because....life is about to change for reals.
I've battled for several years now a feeling that I want to be doing something. I've wanted to work but haven't been able to figure out how to do that with constant moves, a husband with a busy career, two kids and a degree in Asia-Pacific Policy Studies that doesn't translate well in, say, Phoenix or Sacramento.
Now that we've settled in North Carolina for what we hope is the long-run (at least 8 years), I've thought long and hard about what to do with myself. My kids are getting older, which doesn't mean they need less attention, but it does mean I can breathe a bit and see that in a few years, they'll be off. I've wanted to try to begin building toward that in terms of my own future, and I've struggled to envision how to build a career in a small town with little in terms of 'industry' and certainly little in the way of international development, the work I engaged in long ago.
Okay, don't let me go off the rails rambling.
I'm going back to school....at the age of 43.....for an entirely new career.
I start classes tomorrow toward an MS in Clinical Mental Health. I want to be a therapist specializing in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) with the ability to help people process trauma using EMDR, writing and other forms of processing therapy.
Right now, I don't know what I don't know, so it's an exciting time for me. I love the idea that I get to spend the next two years learning. Learning! It's been a long time since I was in school (15 years), and I'm excited to dig in.
I'm sure I'll hit a few speed bumps. A lot of my classes are online, something I've never done before. I also have a shortened attention span, due to smartphone use, constant internet availability and motherhood. I've got to work on building up my concentration and ability to focus for longer periods of time. I've got to go back to single tasking.
I ordered all of my books in hard copy because I'm old and can't get the hang of reading actual texts online, and I believe it's fundamentally wrong, so you know, I'm one of those people.
All-in-all, I'm pumped. I got packages of highlighters, notecards, spiral notebooks and Post-it tabs for all of my color-coded reading/notes.
Is any jealous? You should be. Color-coded notes are the key to acing exams.
I feel a little crazy going back to school and starting over at 43. But then I read Outliers (Gladwell), and the point became clear to me that the time will pass anyway. In five years, I'll be 48. I can be 48 with no new job prospects and a lot of wish-I-woulds or I can be 48 with a new degree, clinical hours under my belt and a writing program I've designed to process trauma.
Either way, the time will pass. The question is: do I want to spend those years doing something or sitting around bemoaning my fate and feeling old?
I'm choosing doing something.
I have no idea how to even check my class schedule. Hahahaha. I better get on it. Classes start tomorrow.
I hope everyone is blowing through this week with sunshine, coffee and a few bright spots on the horizon.