This quote, by Friedrich Nietzsche sums up one of the ongoing struggles of my life:
What do you think?
On the one hand, I want to be able to hold my own. When someone is awful or wretched or does me wrong, I want to be able to inflict worse pain if for no other reason than to stand my ground, lest that person think he or she can come at me again.
And then there is the other side of me, perhaps the realer side, that doesn't want a fight, doesn't want to become engulfed in ugliness and doesn't want to go low.
That side of me is the people pleaser, the woman who acquiesces, the woman who (because she is afraid of becoming a monster) says yes when she means no and agrees when she's uncertain and gets steamrolled into doing things she's sure she doesn't want to do, isn't meant to do and will one day (sooner rather than later) regret.
Nietzsche seems to argue there are only the two choices.
1. Out-monster the Monster
2. Be Quietly Devoured
What do you think? Are those the only choices? Or is there a third choice, a separation of sorts, where we don't engage with the monster at all?
Whether it's overconsumption and materialism, toxic relationships, chasing our ephemeral youth or something as simple as an ugly comment, do we have to engage? And if we don't, will we be quietly devoured?
And what of the monsters within us? With all of the sad news this week regarding Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, perhaps those are the scariest of all.
For now, the monster at my door is the lingering migraine. I'm hoping the meds will out-monster it, lest I be quietly devoured.
Otherwise, I do hope it's been a wonderful weekend for everyone so far. We had BBQ with friends last night, which was lovely and bloating all at once. Even our son, on the ride home, said, "Wow. I'm bloated."