I was digging around online and found this article on Harper's Bazaar: Remove These Two Phrases From Your Vocabulary to be More Successful.
Have to (okay, it's two words)
For example, I might say to myself, "I have to workout but I also have to cook dinner."
There is conflict there, indicating that I have to workout but I can't because I also have to cook dinner.
If we reframe the statement using Roth's suggestion, we replace 'but' with 'and.'
Then, I might say, "I have to workout and I also have to cook dinner."
Boom. No conflict. I have two things to do. Let's get it done. I'll workout while the chicken is roasting or do ten-minute intervals before and after I do preps or whatever.
The point is that it's not a defeating, one-or-the-other conflict.
Let's look at the other word: have to.
Have to has a negative connotation, as in - we have to do something; we have no choice.
Roth suggests replacing 'have to' with 'want to.' Or, to keep it simpler, we could replace 'must' with 'want.'
Example: I must workout and cook dinner.
Reframe: I want to workout and cook dinner.
According to Roth, the reframing is taking the statement from negative to positive, and he argues that our language, this simple shifting of words, can shift our attitude.
We all know attitude is everything.
I sound a bit mocking here, but I do think success comes down to attitude, which affects our willingness to not only work hard but also to stick with stuff when the going gets tough and success isn't so clearly on the horizon.
What do you think?
Do you use 'have to' and feel a little beaten down by the whole feeling of servitude?
Or is your day full of 'want to?'
And is adding 'and' rather than 'but' going to pump us up.....or just make us feel like the list got a little longer?
Incidentally, I just got up for water.
As I walked out of the room, I thought: I have to drink more water.
Then, I said to myself: I want to drink more water.
Readers, there was a lightness in my step after saying that. :)
I may have to get the book: