I was watching videos on Facebook this morning instead of doing my class reading. I know. So dodgy.
But…then….maybe not so dodgy. Some of those videos are really inspiring or compelling, even if they’re slathered in cheese and dripping in pathos. Sometimes, a little 8 AM pathos is just what is called for.
To that point, I watched a video of older women speaking about what they wish they could do differently, if they could go back in time and relive those earlier lives. It’s apropos to Frankl’s quote from yesterday, about living as if we had a second chance and had done it wrongly the first time. While I don't think there’s a ton of value in bemoaning or regretting the past, I do think there is a special kind of beauty in having enough time to consider the past and be more present in the present, in having learned lessons in time to change course, so to speak.
In this video, one of the women said she wouldn’t make so many to-do lists but, rather, a not-to-do list.
I thought that was a charming way of putting it, a not-to-do list of experiences, things or time-consuming tasks that don’t end up mattering much in the end.
What would your not-to-do list look like?
I can think of 10 right off the bat:
worry about things I can’t change
rush goodnight kisses and cuddles
criticize and judge in the name of ‘helping’ or ‘loving’
eat shitty food
drink cheap wine
rush good morning kisses and cuddles
spend my time glued to a screen
miss sunrises and sunsets
bemoan my body (at all, ever)
It’s easy to make a list like that, but perhaps it’s the first step in actually living it, in actually stopping for a moment in the now to shift course just a bit so that in twenty or thirty years, I won’t have such a long list of regrets.
We take so much for granted and then, later, we wish we could have time back, people back, our health or our energy back.
My mother is always telling me about menopause and how drastically it affects one’s body, and she always says, “Enjoy your body now!”
To that end, I’m taking Sandy on a lovely morning walk, in the crisp fall air, with sunshine dripping down on us rather than sit here for another hour looking for a 90 inch console table for my morning room.
What would be on your to-not-do list?
I hope everyone has a thoughtful, quiet, non-to-do Monday with sunshine, coffee, a treat, some laughter and a cuddle.